Well, after contacting support and posting to their GitHub Issue Tracker, still no luck. Does appear to therefore be a hardware problem, so I’ve reached out to begin the RMA process. Not super put out by this, and it doesn’t appear to be a wide-spread thing, just unfortunate luck-of-the-draw I got the one with an issue. I will update it when I get the replacement, not to jinx things, but I’m sure it will be fine :)

Currently listening: Sole space - “green soap."